Dads/Stepdads/Grandads and Daughters
When speaking with my clients it is revealed just how important a good male role model is in their daughter’s life in particular the choice’s she makes in relationships.
This topic is so prevalent and yet on a daily basis I speak with females who have deep seeded issues regarding men. There are numerous books on this subject, yet the affects continue.
I’m definitely not saying that there are no great dad’s out there, everyone only knows what they know and therefore they parent with that knowledge, we all try and do the best we can. Unfortunately when a child is born, they don’t come with a manual, like a new purchased car that is easy to fix, they come with their own little personalities and each one different to the other.
Dad’s you are the prince from the day your daughter is born that they will watch and learn from, you are the person they will judge all future partners from. The way you provide for your family, the security she feels, your view on money, how you treat your mother, her mother and any females is so very important. She is always watching and learning from the day she is born.
When a female reaches puberty, they are trying to grow from Daddy’s little girl into an independent young woman. They may pull away from you and this is not easy I know, where has my little girl gone? She needs your boundaries through unconditional love and understanding (especially when you don’t understand), more than ever during this time. It’s time to pull your head in and be the Dad your daughter requires.
If you are blessed to be a Dad to a little girl, there is nothing wrong with as young as 4 years old, creating Daddy/Daughter Dates, pick her up from the front door, bring her a flower, teach her how to feel loved and valued by a man and watch her grow in confidence.
I know a Dad who told me he booked date time with his daughter once a week. As they didn’t have a lot of money and she had 2 brothers, he would attend at her bedroom door, knock and she would giggle and answer, he would hand her the food he has prepared and she would take his hand and bring him to her little tea table. He would pull out her little chair and drink whatever concoction she created and listen to her talk.
His daughter is now 17 years old and even though they don’t do this as much, she still likes the tea party table time with her dad, they have a joke and tell stories. He isn’t a soft dad, he has boundaries and she doesn’t get away with everything however their relationship was built on respect and even through puberty, he was the one she leant on. He knows one day he will have to let her go and in his heart he knows she will be fine.
So Dad’s remember, you are the man who can either build your daughters confidence, or lower it, create a bond or break it, protect with boundaries and stand by your word with love in your heart, or log out because it is all too hard. Separation and Divorce doesn’t mean you stop being her dad.
You are so blessed to have such an amazing role in life. Are you willing to step up?